Rediscovering Free Will 


(Photo from Sukhi Barber – Pinterest)

Free will:

“The power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion”. – Oxford Dictionary Online

I first discovered the concept of free will when I was a child. Naturally religious, I learnt the idea from a Christian standpoint, and it floored me. We could make choices. Choices that could alter the course of mankind.

As a young girl decisions were made for me, until even as an adult, there remained a shadow of ‘should’ trailing behind me.


(Photo from Kirsty Wheeler  – Pinterest)

In the traditional practice of Tarot, card number 0 is the Fool. (Sometimes depicted with no number at all or number 22/XXII)  Tarot is thought to represent the road of life and the translation of the word Tarot from Egyptian means “The Royal Road”.

The Fool is at the start of his journey down this road. The 0 represents the beginning, and the bag slung over his shoulder represents the voyage. To my eye and instinct, the dog at his feet represents free will, the flower in his hand depicts the joy in life and the mountain behind portrays the obstacles we will all face.

I am at the start of a new journey, fuelled by my own creative free will; Poetic Expression.


(Image from – Pinterest)

Poetry can be used for love, to make a political statement or simply for the beauty of each word.

Poetry for me is a form of spirituality.

It pours out of me in waves, often fully formed but with some need for editing. A word tweak here, some punctuation added or removed there. Even sometimes the whole thing turned upside down. Endings where beginnings once were.


(Image from – Pinterest)

I recently decided to undergo an MA in Creative Writing from Manchester Metropolitan University. This may have seemed like an odd choice as I had only just moved to Cardiff, to take up my first professional librarian role, after 4 years of postgraduate study.

It was whilst working at The Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama, a wonderfully creative establishment, that I felt my own Creative Urges.

I met some special people in South Wales and experienced the joy of walking through nature each and every day. It was a magical time of seed planting in my mind.


(Image from  –  Pinterest)

When the ending of my contract loomed, I made a decision. I was not going to wait for retirement. I was not going to wait until maternity leave (one day!) I was going to start writing properly, seriously, now.

On a whim I applied to do the MA at Bath. Although I felt that particular course was not for me, and after an offer from Swansea University – my heart continued to be pulled to the course at Manchester Met.  I felt it too far up the country, but soon all arrows pointed north.

After an interview by poet and Senior lecturer Adam O’Riordan, I was in!

Since then, my world and life has opened up in ways I could never have foreseen. Not only do I now only work part time as a Librarian, devoting most of the rest of my time to writing pursuits, but I have opened up a spiritual ability that had been lying dormant.

The ability to create my own destiny.

I implore you today as you read this blog post, my first In the capacity of poet, to think about your choices. To think about what free will means to you.

What will you choose to do or to be today?

Much love Txx

10 thoughts on “Rediscovering Free Will 

  1. I went for a walk this morning on my own for an hour along the beach ( this was before I read your blog). I got to thinking about ‘original sin’ and how this has blighted humankind ever since. I came to the conclusion that ‘original sin’ ocurred because man was granted ‘free will’ the ability to make his own choices whether good or bad and that man’s creator has to take some responsibility for our inherent flaw!
    On my return I read your blog
    ‘Free will’ a coincidence – I think not – but rather case of synchronicity!
    How will I chose next to exercise my ‘free will?’

    1. Wow 🙂 definite synchronicity across the seas! It’s weird because I did not plan this post to be my first blog post at all. I was planning to write about something else entirely, but suddenly felt guided very strongly to write this. Yes, our inherent flaw is also our greatest gift. Really glad it touched you. Enjoy the beach! (I’ll have a new post up each week and will email when it’s up) Txx

  2. Love your first post Toni, keep it rolling. What a wonderful image of ‘the fool’… I really hope that the first tumble won’t stop him in his tracks and he’ll listen to his trusty little dog in the future. I like to think that the obstacles lessen with a positive outlook on life. As a creative person like you, I think that personal interpretation can often transform ugliness into beauty. We all have free will to do this. I believe that positive energy, like smiles, can be infectious……although some may see too much smiling to be sign of a fool! Ha! x

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