Leaving Things Behind

(Death – Rider Waite Tarot Deck)

So I started off this blog post intending to write about: Writing about Grief.

I’d just seen one of my favourite poets read, and finally bought his collection about the death of his brother.

It got me thinking.

Grief is really the pain of being left behind.

When someone dies we miss that person because we perceive them to have left us.

When someone commits suicide, as Matthew Dickman’s brother did, that feeling of being ‘left’ is  intensified beyond measure.

But what of the things every single one of us leaves behind?

We bring about thousands of little deaths in our life time, simply by walking away.

(Eight of Cups – Rider Waite Tarot Deck  )

The Death card at the start of this blog is a tarot card most people feel fearful of, but it’s actually a card of transformation.

Yes it signals the end of one thing – but the beginning of another.

The 8 of cups card above is traditionally about leaving things behind, but my gut feeling when looking at the card, is about what the figure is moving towards.

Often when we walk away and leave things behind us,  we are walking towards the new.

(The Sun – Rider Waite Tarot Deck )

Things  get even more complicated, when we realise, what we need to walk away from resides within our own selves.

We have habits and patterns we should have outgrown.

That pain from childhood bullying, that memory of what someone said about you.

Letting go of all that baggage is hard. Sometimes feeling impossible, and yet letting it die – is the only way you can be reborn.

Because, rebirth is not just about reincarnation, instead it’s something that happens a million times over in this present lifetime.

We reinvent ourselves willingly or otherwise and start over.  New town, new friends, new interests.

Without a willingness to ‘die’ and ‘give birth’ to the new – we would be stagnant.

So how can we learn to let go with grace rather than grief?

(Five of Cups – Rider Waite Tarot Deck )


Try to see what is in front of you as well as what is behind you. Project yourself into the future even if that future is unclear, and really try to see what could await you.

(Four of Cups – Rider Waite Tarot Deck)


Don’t forget to pay attention to what you have right now. Even if it’s only one thing that provides us with joy – We all have something.


Find ways to express yourself creatively, in order to process change. Free writing – where you simply sit and write without purpose for a set amount of time, can open portals into your unconscious mind.

(Come to the Edge card – Wisdom of The Oracle Deck, by Colette Baron Reid )

Leaving things behind is not often discussed in our culture. Letting the past go and actively launching ahead into the future can be a terrifying prospect.

I urge you to consider how you let things go in your life. How do you walk away from things that no longer serve you? Can you do it with peace and love?

Much love


3 thoughts on “Leaving Things Behind

  1. It is increasingly rare nowadays to discover someone who values soul rather than goal, and Toni-Ann is one such person – that is why, I think, I was drawn to her at Manchester Met where we both took part in the same poetry course. Always a pleasure to chat with Toni-Ann and now a pleasure to read her blog. x

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