(Where I stayed: Oxford and Cambridge Hermitage – Launde Abbey Retreat Centre.)

A few weeks ago I went on retreat.

(My retreat journal and schedule, a door leading from gardens to the Chapel, the Abbey’s schedule, and my keys to the cottage – complete with torch for navigating the woods!)

I have been on spiritual retreat before, but always part of a large group of strangers.

This time, I wanted to be completely on my own.

I had so much to work through.

*

The last half of this year has been deeply spiritual for me.

I have uncovered gifts that I always knew were within me,  but had no real idea how to acknowledge or unleash.

I am just at the beginning of this journey, and on retreat deep in meditation, I heard my next steps.

Whilst sitting in my makeshift meditation area, in a hermitage cottage, in the woods. My thoughts turned to my job.

 I heard a voice quietly but clearly say ‘It’s not for you’

Yes I heard it, and I understood.

*

Over the next few hours with further prayer, and use of tarot and oracle cards, I uncovered the message fully.

Although I love many aspects of my new job, the current contract ends at the end of January,  and I am being directed to leave at this point, and not hope for renewal.

It’s time for me to focus on my poetry. I have a whole collection to write by September 2017,  as part of my MA.

It’s time for me to focus on teaching Creative Writing workshops.

It’s time for me to teach more Library Skills Workshops. (I have taught one so far for UCL)

It’s time for me to go back to temping as a Librarian, and enjoying the freedom that provides.

It’s time for me to open myself up to help people, through my gifts at reading tarot, and anything else that may reveal itself to me.

Basically, its time for me to go freelance 🙂

*

I have been working towards this for some years now.

I have always known that when I  have a family , I do not want to be working full time.

When I eventually have a child, I want to be at home as much as possible.

I have been shaping my life with this in mind since I became a Librarian.

(The Empress – Rider Waite Tarot Deck )

The card above is a symbol of fertility, often denoting pregnancy.

No, I am not pregnant, but I am certainly going through a process of rebirth. Not just of myself, but of something new.

I am not pregnant

It’s only been a month

But I can feel you

In my belly

It’s only been a month

But your heart is fully formed

therefore your identify

It’s only been a month

No one else knows

But you’re mine

(I am not Pregnant –  by Toni-Ann La-Crette )

I always thought that becoming self employed, would be a couple more years away for me at least, but I realise the time is now.

It is now because I am living at home with my mum, so have more financial freedom.

It is now simply because I have been told it is.

So off I go…

New year, New journey.

(The Fool – Rider Waite Tarot Deck)

Much love Txx