(Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue – Medicine Woman)
For the New Year break, I travelled to Glastonbury, a town in Somerset, UK.
A dear friend invited me along, with a view to showing me what a New Age Community looks like.
To let me feel, how it would feel, to be amongst people, and energies that are in sync with my own recent, and unfolding spiritual reawakening.
As we sat at breakfast that first full day, we chatted with a lady that channels spirits as a healing tool for women, we talked to a woman that felt unnerved every time the full moon appeared in the sky.
That first morning, I sat quietly taking it all in, as I recognised my own experiences, as being very similar to the two characters in front of me.
One day in May/June 2016, (I find it hard to remember the exact day) I experienced a strong desire to use my hands to read Tarot cards.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, Divination tools were not a part of my life in the slightest. Having been brought up a Christian, I viewed Divination as an undesirable skill of the Occult.
Yet, in my earliest memories, I do remember being fascinated with Ghosts and Ghouls and Vampires. Like most children, I delved into books that were otherworldly.
In the weeks leading up to the feeling that I was meant to be reading cards, I had come across Tarot Readings on You Tube, based around the Zodiac signs. (I have been lightly interested in Astrology for some years before)
I had been watching these videos in awe, for maybe a month or so – fascinated with the use of imagery to paint such an accurate picture of life and its struggles. I built up the courage to purchase my own cards in August, and gave it a go myself.
With no previous training other than watching these videos, and using websites such as Biddy Tarot to look up traditional meanings of cards, I became able to read the cards intuitively.
This means, that I am able to look at a card and receive information about it, whether or not this aligns with the traditional meaning. It means that I am able to Channel energies from God/Universe/Source and be shown what I need to see through the Card.
Yes I understand how trippy this sounds/no I have not gone mad or been taking drugs!
I started this blog as a way to promote my poetry career, and get into the practice of writing routinely for an audience. I soon realised that actually, the blog is about using my particular gifts to help people.
Poetry for as long as I can remember has been a way in which I helped myself. When I was going through a bad time, I would write a poem to help me process things. Often these poems would be prophetic. I was not sure what came first – the solution to a problem, or the poem.
Over the last 6 months or so, I have felt a increase in my spiritual/psychic gifts that has been overwhelming at best, and frightening at worst.
It was in this state that I embarked to Glastonbury, with an open heart. Aware that I had already moved forward significantly on my personal Journey, but needing some confirmation that what I hold a deep knowing about, is true.
You see, ever since I started writing this blog, I have many people commenting to me by email or in person, that they have gone through a similar journey at some point in their lives. Some have spoken to me of it being something they want to reconnect with.
I realise that we all feel this spiritual calling to some degree or another.
Yet, I understand that my path is very different to the ‘norm’.
This spiritual calling is to become my life.
I know that my purpose here on earth is to help people with my gifts, and Glastonbury confirmed that.
For the very first time in my life, I decided to get a reading done. I looked for a Tarot reader, (of which there are many in Glastonbury), and found a reader of Runes instead.
This Shaman/Priest, with very little prompting from myself; told me everything I already knew.
That I was to be a light in the world for others, that this was to be my quest, no half measures.
He explained the path would be tough (yes it already has been!), but that it is what I am here for.
He used a phrase similar to that which someone very special to me, has described me as before:
I’ve mentioned on this blog before how I feel strongly that I am here to help people, and have often in the past ended up helping the wrong people.
I ended up helping those who had no real intention of ever helping themselves.
Through writing this blog, I feel like I am finally able to reach people who just need that little bit of guidance, that push, that support, that motivation.
For you see, a Medicine Woman is not just someone who makes potions and herbs to treat illness. (Though she can definitely do that too.) A Medicine Woman, is a woman who uses her spiritual gifts to help others.
The term Medicine Woman (or indeed Medicine Man) is often used to describe healers within indigenous tribes of North America, as well as in Africa and the Caribbean. Most, if not all cultures have people in their history or present communities that act as healers, independent of, or alongside traditional medicine.
(Disclaimer: I do not heal illnesses, and please yes do go to the Doctor if you are unwell!)
The word Lightworker, how I like to describe myself – also a word the Shaman used to describe me – holds similar connotations.
The role of poet or storyteller is also similar in indigenous communities.
(Poet Archetype card by Caroline Myss)
Though I am apprehensive about being so honest about my quest on this blog, I feel called to do so. It’s important that I honour, and be open about the changes that are happening within me.
So at the moment I am in a period of great change. (As you have all probably already gleaned!)
I couldn’t tell you what all those changes are/will be, even though I am feeling the energy of it every day, I am not sure what is actually happening tangibly.
It’s like everything is under the surface waiting to burst forth and manifest physically – but hasn’t yet.
Alternatively, it is simply a process unfolding.
But I am still the same Toni-Ann.
I spoke to a very close friend of mine a couple of weeks ago about the need to acknowledge some kind of constancy in change. How we as individuals though changing all the time, hold an essential stability that is inherent to our human nature.
I get that. The very essence of who I am, has been with me since the very beginning.
The beginning of what – I do not know.
It is that essence of me that I hold on to now, to ground myself, as everything else changes.
Much love always