(For Part One click here )
As the year draws to a close and I begin to think about all the things that I have accomplished this year, and up to this point in my life, it dawned on me that (amongst many other things) there is one thing I have yet to truly conquer:
Fear of Success
Fear of Success shows up for me in many ways, its in the inexplicable fear I feel when all is going well.
It’s in the anxiety I experience just after I feel a moment of peace and contentment.
It’s in the force that stops me from going after what I truly want, and it’s in the guilt that admonishes me for wanting it in the first place.
I know that I am not the only one who will be feeling this irrational fear, so I wanted to examine it a little further.
In this article by Psychology Today, the author discusses how fear of success can be linked to traumatic events from our past.
That reminds me of the following Tarot Card:
(Five of Cups, Rider Waite Smith Tarot)
The Five of Cups speaks of grief and loss, but also about being stuck in a moment where you are afraid to move forward because of what has happened in your past.
We can all remember times when things have simply not worked out for us.
These tend to overshadow the times when things have worked out.
When we are on verge of something wonderful, those feelings associated with what did not work out in the past can be triggered.
Then, in order to protect ourselves, we hold ourselves back out of fear of experiencing failure, pain and hurt.
In this way, we are afraid of our own success – in case it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t last or we do not deserve it.
Our society both celebrates success, and shies away from it.
Yes we will be admired if we are deemed successful, but we are also simultaneously supposed to be humble with it.
We shouldn’t be too successful, or make it too obvious that we are.
More often than not, successful people are the target for envy and jealousy.
Is it any wonder that people fear having a certain level of success?
Is it really so desirable after all to stand out from those around you as being the one who is accomplishing much?
I really do believe that we are all successful in our own right, but I also believe that all of us could be more so if we let go of this fear of it.
So how can we let go of it?
Acceptance – Radical acceptance for who we are.
Each one of us is a flawed being, and a sum of our past experiences. There is not much that we can do about that.
However like we would wish for a good friend, or family member, we truly do deserve the best.
There is no easy answer for letting go of this fear (I’m sorry!) other than accepting this fear as part of you and moving forward regardless.
Recognising this fear is the first step towards healing it. If you understand that you may be holding yourself back, you can be more conscious in trying not to.
Also this fear does remind you to be humble (which is always a good thing) and it helps you to slow yourself down. In that moment where you are scared to do something, you can really think logically if that thing is the right thing to do. Make lists, weigh the pros and cons, get out of your feelings and into your logic.
Learn to celebrate your achievements in a way that feels right for you, even if all that means is eating your favourite bar of chocolate, or taking a walk in the park.
Savour the moments of peace and contentment by being thankful for them.
Be grateful for what you have and help others in the ways you can.
Does anyone else have any ideas about how to deal with Fear of Success? Comment below or under my posts in Facebook and Twitter, and let me know your thoughts.
Much love Txx