(image from Crystal Wind via Pinterest)
As I fell asleep on the night of the 7th March, the words “Jupiter Retrograde” came to me.
(Jupiter retrograde is from March 8th – July 10th)
I’d been absolutely exhausted, and very emotional for the day, and so I was checking in with myself through meditation and prayer.
I lay in bed and thought about the New Moon coming up on the 17th – in Pieces – so I knew it would be an emotional one – was I feeling the New Moon energy already?
However the answer that came from Spirit was: Jupiter Retrograde.
I received the message intuitively from my spirit guides that Jupiter Retrograde energy was urging me to go within, and really feel my emotions and what they were trying to tell me/help me to change in my life.
I was told that I was feeling so exhausted because it was time for me to rest, to stop giving too much, to stop over giving to certain people in my life.
Jupiter is the planet that rules Sagittarius, my Sun sign, and is a forward thinking energy that is all about go go go! It is a Yang (masculine energy) and also coincidently rules Pisces. (which the New Moon has just fallen in)
It is represented by the Wheel of Fortune Tarot card, which holds the energy, and ability to offer a complete turn of circumstances for good or for bad.
So it makes sense that when this planet goes retrograde we will be urged to stop doing and start being.
As a fire sign, I feel this energy and this urge to push forward all of the time. It is actually my natural state of being.
Lately however, I have been recieving alot of intuitive nudges that I do too much.
I have written about codependancy on this blog before, and I hold my hands up and admit that I am a recovering codependent.
I routinely give too much, then feel resentful when someone takes.
It is something I have tried to work on in my romantic and platonic relationships for many years now, yet it still manages to bite me in the backside when I least expect it.
I have been feeling drained by the energy I have been giving to a number of people in my life lately.
I was feeling uncared for as I could not see this energy being returned to me.
I was despairing that I would never find someone who would give to me what I give to others, and what I am learning to give to myself.
And perhaps I am right – perhaps I will never find someone that can give to me the amount that I can give to myself…
As a lightworker, it is my will and purpose to give to others, it is why I write this blog, it is why I read Tarot for people.
As my spirtiual work increases I have come to understand that true lightwork is an equal exhange between the giver and the taker.
When I read Tarot for someone though it may tire me out, I always recieve at least one message that is for me and that helps me.
The best realtionships in my life are the same way, I give, they give, it is mutual, there is not resentment.
So how had I become so unbalanced, that Jupiter Retrograde had to forcibly correct me?
The more I am able to give, the less others are able to match these levels.
Wait – really?
That same night – the 7th March – I watched a Tarot reading for the week on You Tube. It is a channel I have been watching since I started reading Tarot.
The reader was talking about how the more in tune with our spirtuality we are, the more we are able to fill ourselves up – the less others who are not at that same place will be able to fill us – and really why should they?
The problem in giving – is when we do it in order to get back.
Most of the time we do this becuase we are giving from a place of lack, of not quite feeling full enough in ourselves before we extend help/support etc.
So how do I manage my over-giving when I legitmately have always had enough (emotional) resources to give out to others?
By practising discernment.
Just becuase I can give, does not mean I should give all of the time.
I need to pull my energy routinely back from others in order to understand who really needs my help, and who in fact needs to learn to help themselves.
My overgiving also stops people from learning how to look after themselves.
My overgiving can be disruptive and limiting, restrictive and controlling.
My overgiving can leave me exhausted and resenful through no fault of the other, but becuase I was giving without discernment.
Wow! Thank you Jupiter Retrograde!
From now until July I will do as you urge me to, I will look at ways in which I can practise mindful giving to myself first and then to others.
Much love Txx