Starting a Business and Going Freelance Part 5: Crossroads Energy and the (perceived) U-Turn

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(picture taken by me in Bute Park, Cardiff)

Yesterday I posted a poem titled Reborn – today I am here to use my voice to tell you the latest way in which I have birthed anew.

The Full Moon we just saw in Libra truly did balance out my thinking in an Eureka type epiphany.

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A while ago I wrote this post about the importance of a day job in a poet’s life.

It also resonates with me when I look at the role spirituality is to play in my life.

As I begin to develop my work with the Tarot, and more tentatively mediumship, I begin to understand how completely necessary it is for me to have a grounded and routine career – certainly at this point anyway.

(I keep reminding myself I am only 33, I don’t need to be a Wise Woman on the mountain just yet)

Those I know in the spiritual community often remark at how grounded I am – There are all kinds of reasons for this inherent ability I have to keep myself rooted to the earth, even as I begin to ascend and raise my vibration.

One of these reasons is the fact that I am a Librarian by trade and that I love the routine and stability a career gives me.

Recently I reached a crossroads. Would I continue to work part-time as a Librarian? Declare myself self-employed alongside this and work on earning money through poetry workshops, Tarot readings and the like?

I wrote here about how naturally this transition seemed to be unfolding.

Yet I had a niggling feeling that I was not able to articulate until now.

I want to buy a house, I want to live in a city away from my family of origin, I want to comfortably be able to afford all I would need to achieve my Ultimate Dream….(more on that later)

I also don’t want my creative and spiritual processes to be stifled by the need to make a living out of them. I want to give and create with more freedom then that.

So it makes sense that I will have to work full time again as a Librarian, and trust that I will be able to carry on my spiritual, and poetical work in my spare time.

This is not a revoloutinary concept – many people do this.

Yet for a minute there I was willing to make a leap that would possibly have led to many financaial struggles and worries for me – a state that for me does not lead to the sense of well being I need to carry on with my spiritual and creative work.

I love being a Librarian. I don’t want to stop doing that yet, in fact I’d quite like to do more of it for a while again.

In this way I will be able to work towards affording the things I want in my life as well as fund my spiritual pursuits without worry.

This is quite hard for me to admit to. I was heading one way and then I made a swift U-turn.

However really it is not a U-turn at all, not in the slightest. It is actually a big giant step forward in the process of manifesting my dreams into reality.

What many of us find hard to truly connect to when we talk about manifestation, is that yes, though you can work with the Universal Law of Attraction, it is actually more akin to a process of co-creation with you and the Universe/God/Source – when you go ahead and make decisions, when you work hard to get what you want – the Universe will step up and help you along.

I don’t want the Universe to have to work so hard to manifest my dreams out of very little, I am going to give it the maximum I can in order to see maximum results.

Makes sense right?

I have this ultimate idea of what I want to be doing when I am 60 – I see it very clearly.

I spoke to a couple of friends the other day about how I go about forming goals and moving towards them.

I explained that I picture what I want my Ultimate life to be like in 10, 20, 30 years time.

Then I work backwards to see what I need to do now.

What I need to do now is build a stable, consistent income and life in order to support my spiritual growth (and have fun of course)

I understand that when it comes to my spiritual practices, my role is to heal, inspire and to teach others.

Yes one day I will be the Wise Woman on the mountain, but how does that woman become wise? Through years and years of life experience.

I am about to learn some more life.

This is humbling.

I know that I am wise beyond my years, and that my psychic and intuitive ability is advancing, yet I know that this is my life’s work! My WHOLE life’s work.

I cannot rush it.

I was trying to rush it.

I was trying to get from A -Z without hitting up J.

It’s the fire sign in me!

So now I am looking forward to my next career move within Librarianship, and my next move away from my home city.

I will continue moving forward with my spiritual pursuits with Tarot, and in the form of developing my channelling/mediumship ability – and writing the blog of course!

I also continue to send out poems, and work towards publication.

Much love and Thank you for listening, and being with me on this journey. Txx

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