So the other day I was sat in my bedroom enjoying a rare Sunday afternoon at home.
I was recovering from a stomach upset and was trying to take as much time as possible to fully rest and switch off.
This is something I find very hard to do.
I was enjoying drafting blog posts, and meditating, when an uncontrollable feeling of anxiety attacked me.
I couldn’t breathe properly and my stomach became tight.
Whenever I am scared or even just excited I hold a lot of tension in my stomach like most of us do.
This afternoon I felt panicked at the fact that I was feeling panicked for no apparent reason.
After sitting with this feeling for a while, I began to understand that part of the anxiety was about the potential of a very good thing happening for me.
How ridiculous! That I could feel so much fear and angst over the possibility of experiencing something I want to experience?!
I know this is linked to having a hard time believing that I am worthy of the things I want.
Now no need to get the violin out – if we are honest with ourselves, most of us feel this way from time to time, and actually many of us live from this place of feeling unworthy.
It is why we settle. Settle for relationships that are painful, settle for jobs that are unchallenging, settle for living conditions that are barely adequate.
Sometimes we fear our very own success.
Society, religion and politics, have taught us that life is a struggle.
We have been taught that we will always struggle – to make ends meet, with parenthood, with the elderly, with ourselves.
There is an inherent message that we will suffer at some point in time, and that it is an inevitability.
It is this belief that causes us to fear even the good times, because we subconsciously feel it has got to be an illusion or that it wont last.
Those that appear to have no fear of good things, are often those that have settled.
Fear is the thing that shows us that we are oh so close to a wonderful life.
Not just a good life, or an ‘ok’ life, but a wonderful life.
So are you in fear at the moment about something good in your life?
Know that this fear is simply an indication that you are pushing forwards towards the things you want.
Know that this fear is only showing up because you are pushing beyond boundaries, you are pushing against the belief that you are doomed to be unhappy.
Don’t let this fear stop you, feel it, and move beyond it – one scary, unsure step at a time.
Much love Txx