So a New Year is dawning, and I have experienced many new things – especially in the last 6 weeks or so.
So many in fact that I had an emotional melt-down the other day with the overwhelm of it all!
So I will divulge…
I absolutely detest asking for help – for anything.
I am not entirely sure where this aversion comes from, other than I have fought hard to be independent after learning a lesson I guess we all must learn at some point, that independence really is the key to lasting joy.
Though we all deserve to have people in our lives that we can lean on, learning to lean on the right people is something that can often take a while to really understand.
I hope that there is at least one person in your life that you wholeheartedly trust to unconditionally be there for you. (For me that is my Mum!)
However most relationships in our lives do come with conditions.
Conditions are not a bad thing necessarily.
If we didn’t have conditions or boundaries, we would all be taking advantage of each other (knowingly or unknowingly), and things would get very unhealthy, very quickly.
It probably really is only our parents that have the capacity to unconditionally love us, and this is only true if we have been blessed with good parents.
Then there are the majority of us that love with loving conditions.
Loving conditions and boundaries allow us to interact with others from a place of respect and reciprocity, they allow us to feel like an equal in all of our relationships and get this – they allow us to give so much more of ourselves.
Bear with me – I said above that independence really is the key to lasting joy. One of the reasons for this is because once we have looked after ourselves, we are able to truly look after others, support others, love others from a joyous place, a place that gives back to us all at the same time.
So I endeavor to always be able to self-soothe, to make things alright for myself and therefore I can always help others when they really need me.
However the other night, it was me that really needed another, and this is when knowing who to lean on in these moments is imperative, but also knowing that asking for help is ok.
It is ok to say
“I need you”
Especially when you know the person you are asking will step up in a way that you need.
All I needed was reassurance that I was not alone.
In the past, when ever I have voiced a need in the way I did a few nights ago, I was told that I was being needy.
This time I was told, that I should have asked sooner.
That right there is how much of a difference asking the right person can make.
So here we are in the holiday season, a time that many find wonderful and many find difficult.
I guess I fall somewhere in between.
The holiday season is one I look forward to in order to rest and recuperate, yet often it ends up being more about stressful socializing and tensions.
For me this end of year, I want to relax and take the time to process all the (good) changes I have been through, to practice gratitude for all that I have been blessed with up to now.
So from now until the end of the year I will be blogging each day, the things that I am thankful for.
These may not be long posts at all, or they may be.
This is the way I want to end this year, feeling grateful.
The first post will be all about a change in the name of this blog, so look out for that tomorrow.
Much love Txx