Intensity

low angle photo of fireworks

Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

The last post I wrote, was about the energies surrounding the weekend.

It was about how we could expect reconciliation and justice to enter our relationship dynamics.

Just a few hours after writing the post and scheduling it to publish the next day, I received an apology from someone who hurt me deeply a few years ago.

Those that know me in ‘real life’ will know that a couple of my ex relationship partners repeatedly pop up in my life trying to make amends. (Let’s hope they are not reading this post!)

After 2.5 years, on Friday night, an ex reached out to let me know that he was sorry for hurting me.

To say this took me by surprise is an understatement.

I was not so much surprised that he had reached out, as by the fact that he was actually saying sorry, and addressing his behaviour.

But I am not the same person I used to be, neither is he.

We are in the midst of Mercury Retrograde, an astrological time period when things are bound to come up from the past, when communications can become problematic, and when we spend an inordinate amount of time reflecting.

It is very common to hear from ex friends, partners and the like at this time.

During Venus Retrograde last October, a different ex popped up with an apology for me.

I suppose I should feel grateful that situations in my life that I received no closure on are being addressed, but instead I feel angry.

I have worked so very hard to move on from the past, and so why does it insist on coming knocking?

I have had one of the most intense weeks of my life when it comes to conflict with men that I care or cared about at one time.

Universe – what on earth are you trying to tell me?!

It reminds me of what I wrote about in my Oracle For March post – Spirit warned me then that March would bring fireworks, and it certainly has so far!

I have no wise words for you in this post.

I wish I could understand the lesson I am learning, and receive it more gracefully at this time, but really I am feeling deeply fed up.

Romantic relationships are an area of my life that have always challenged me, an area that I am actively working on improving at the moment.

I feel like I am trapped in the energy of the Nine Of Wands, standing on the battlefield after fighting for so long, that I am not at all sure I will ever win.

(Nine Of Wands, Rider Waite Smith Tarot)

Healing sure ain’t pretty.

Much love Txx

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