So I have (very) recently begun the work of acknowledging my feelings.

That’s an odd thing to say right?

But sit with it a minute, because I know you know what I’m talking about.

I know you may have found it hard to feel your feelings too.

There have been situations in my life that forced me to shelve my feelings and carry on.

An example is when my father died, I was the person who had to decide that doctors and nurses stop trying to resuscitate him.

I stuffed my feelings down in the heat of the moment to make a decision.

I have been described as ‘very strong’ by countless people, and I secretly hate that label.

This strength has not been by choice, sometimes I am weak, and that is ok.

I know I come across as extremely positive, but occasionally situations bring me to my knees, and I find myself springing up before they actually hit the floor.

So that is what I mean by recently beginning the work of acknowledging my feelings.

I am learning to let myself feel the graze of the earth beneath my knees.

 

It is an act of service to allow myself to feel how I feel.

The other day I got confirmation of this by the Angelic Realm (shout out to my spirit guide, Carlos) in the most astounding way.

I sat at my computer and decided to write out exactly how I am feeling about a current situation in my life.

I realized that regarding a particular person I felt:

Super super sad.

Hurt tremendously and completely shut out.

Left and alone.

So just after writing the words above, I noticed the number 533 against a folder in my email inbox. Naturally I typed into google:

“Angel Number 533”

The following came up:

“Angel number 533 is a symbol of chances. You have recently been wronged by a person you care for completely. You have been so hurt that you cannot see it in your heart to forgive this person. Well, angel number 533 is a number symbol for you to give them a second chance.”

– https://www.sunsigns.org/angel-number-533-meaning/

Wow that kind of blew my mind, and I knew that I needed to write a post about it no matter how exposed it makes me feel.

Right now I feel hopeless and helpless about something.

From this space the thought of forgiveness and second chances feels far away.

I struggle to believe that I will be asked to give forgiveness or asked to give a second chance.

I’m struck by this being the very first time that this person has let me down, but just one of many times I have been let done by others.

A second chance in this situation feels risky because of all the chances I have given in the past.

But I cannot deny the hopefulness of this message and it breaks through a part of my heart I realized I had built a wall around – a temporary structure – simply to get through each day without overwhelming sadness.

So in this way, I felt my feelings again.

Yes I am sad about this situation, yes it hurts, yes I don’t know quite if I have it in me to forgive whether it is asked for or not.

The Angels and my guides of course know better, so perhaps I will start to look towards second chances and how the thought of that makes me feel. 

Much love Txx