(Just me, waiting for a bus in London about a month ago – #regular life)
There are days when I feel like I have learnt nothing on the path I walk, and days when I feel like I get it all.
It is exactly for this reason that the spiritual path can be so isolating.
I call this path ‘spiritual’ because I follow Spirit, and Spirit sometimes takes you down many a dark road.
It is not all light and love, and yet it is all light and love.
I am asked all the time why I go on retreat at least once a year for the last 5 years. (Usually a Buddhist meditation retreat)
Though this has become more mainstream recently, my reasons are not.
Going on retreat is a spiritual practice for me, it is a time to connect to Spirit within me, within nature, within others, ultimately by being alone.
Being alone is something we need in order to advance spiritually.
This does not mean that our relationships with others are not important, but ultimately our journey is our own.
All but one of the retreats I have been on are group retreats, I am surrounded by people and have formed bonds with some – this is because we are all one. The group is one, I am one. Nothing is separate, even in aloneness.
We spend large amounts of time on retreat in silence, but with each other.
This is in acknowledgement that the spiritual path is a solitary one, even when we hopefully have others in our lives.
However, once my spirituality followed me off retreat, and entered into my everyday life, spiritual isolation became even more profound.
I have been retreating for 5ish years, been tarot reading for 3ish and been developing as a psychic medium for about 2.
I have experienced a rapid reawakening of my soul’s purpose and it has not been easy.
At one point I thought I was losing my mind but throughout it all, I have discovered the ability to grow in isolation.
Though I have a full time job, many friends and a large family of origin, I relish being alone and this yearning has resounded in a response from the Universe – more opportunities to be alone are presented.
I have learnt to let go of people, whether I have wanted to or not.
I have learnt to recognise that those who go were meant to at that time, and if they return or not, will pose further choices and crossroads.
I have understood romantic relationships as a source of happiness and joy, but ultimately learning opportunities, especially until a certain amount of growth is realised.
I have understood that the absence of romantic relationship perhaps results in the biggest spiritual growth of all.
None of these realisations are mainstream or popular, which leads to further isolation and further growth.
I have recently started reading for the second time M Scott Peck’s The Road Less Travelled, and was so comforted by his insight into this very thing.
Most of us don’t want to face suffering, and many of us see being alone as the ultimate form of suffering.
Being able to face this fear straight on, actually not just face it but enjoy what it teaches us, results in a wonderful happening.
We start to find the people, and feel the beings that are here for us. To love us, to support us, to nourish us – all after we have found within us the power to do that for ourselves.
Because we are one.
Solitude is actually the ultimate companion.
Much love dear readers, what I give to you, I give to myself. Txx