10 years ago today my father died.
I was only 25, young to lose a parent, though certainly not the youngest.
I look back now, and feel as if I were very little. I knew very little of death.
The funeral was imposing. Too large for me to really take in, the feelings spilled out of me while I stood in Church and read a passage from the Bible.
I remember who I had around me on that day, a boyfriend who it was certainly not perfect with, but who was there. He cooked food for the wake, and helped prepare tables. He rubbed my shoulders when I needed his comfort. He took me home and was there to hug.
Losing someone close to you brings your life into sharp focus.
Within two years I had broken up with that boyfriend for good, and begun the process of becoming who I came here to be.
Nothing changes you quite like Death, and the minute my father took his last breath was the minute I knew what was important to me in life.
My father dying rearranged my sight.
He was never going to be able to do his life over, but I had time to do mine in the best way I possibly could.
I moved cites, I made new friends, I experienced new loves, new levels of spiritual growth.
I became less and less afraid of being exactly who I am because, there is no one among us who knows exactly what time is left.
My Daddy was a fun loving man, with the most wonderful smile and a spirit that pervades the realms.
I carry more of him inside of me than I consciously can know, and he carries me still.
Love you Daddy Txx