Mourning

Right now I’m mourning the loss of social interaction – are you?

I dream of social gatherings.

Big nights out with sisters and friends.

24 hour tea houses – yep I recently had a dream about a 24 hour tea house!

I am one of 7 children.

I’m super close to my mum who lives with my gran and one of my sisters.

I have 5 nieces, 1 step-nephew, 2 brother in laws with large families too.

Every Sunday of my life for pretty much 34 years was a large gathering.

Now for months on end it is pretty much just going to be me, and the friend I thankfully live with.

I say thankfully, because I almost chose to live alone, which would have been even tougher in these circumstances.

I actually enjoy being alone and enjoy being at home very much.

Being one of 7 children always left me yearning for alone time and a quiet house.

I am single right now, and grateful I don’t have to worry about being cooped up with my man for the foreseeable future.

I also don’t have to worry about not seeing that special person if they need to be with their family at this time or living abroad.

I’ve been in relationships most of my adult life and know it takes a special and true relationship to survive these circumstances.

I’ve also been estranged from people I love and understand that distance cannot kill a true bond.

No. What I’m already beginning to miss after one week of almost lockdown is my family.

The family I moved miles away from to have my own space. Well I’ve got it now!

I miss calling them today (Mother’s day when I write this) and hearing the extreme loudness – though the three of them at my family home now (plus the cat) are still pretty loud!

Yesterday I left the house for a walk and a few grocery items for the first time in 4 days.

I waved to an old man across the street.

I smiled at a few people I passed.

In the supermarket I tried to maintain 2 metres between me and each person but it was tough. It was a small supermarket and guidelines about how many people can enter at anytime have not been set – yet.

We are in for a tough time.

I’m blessed that I find joy in the present moment.

But in this post I’m expressing my mourning for how things used to be.

It is ok to grieve.

Much love Txx

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