How Are You Feeling?

A couple of months ago I wrote a post with the same title as this one.

I want to put the question to you again.

How are you feeling?

As many places in the world struggle to get back to some kind of normal, you may be feeling anything but.

After 4 months I made the journey to my Mum’s house in London. I felt like it was time to see my family again, and I wanted to make the most of what seems to be a little respite from the worst of things.

So here I am, and absolutely everything in the world has changed since I was here last.

There is something in the air when I walk around the neighbourhood I spent pretty much my whole life living in.

It is an unmistakable melancholy.

This is not a regular London summer, when the city usually comes alive with an almost sexual charge.

This summer there are so many people at home.

You can hear music playing from adjacent houses, yet the birdsong seems so much louder.

I know that pubs and restaurants have opened again, but I am nowhere near ready to go.

As I feel now, I am not sure when I will be able to return to the things I used to do so often and with no thought.

It is not necessarily because of fear of the Virus, I practice all the ways I can to stay well.

It is more that I don’t want to go back to such an unthinking life.

Now I stop and think about what I want and what I feel so much more.

I think about those around me and their safety so much more.

I think about what is truly necessary.

I think about what is good for me.

I think about the words I use to connect with those I love.

I think about how wonderful it is to go to a park and take a walk in the middle of the day.