(in Chinese philosophy) the passive female principle of the universe, characterized as female and sustaining and associated with earth, dark, and cold.Oxford Languages
My sister called me yesterday, just after I’d baked bread for the week. I was climbing back into bed with Netflix and a vitamin drink.
Sometimes I find it very hard to stop and rest.
Even when at home, I find chores to do.
Usually when I am in resistance to resting, I experience illness that forces me to.
Last weekend it was a fuzzy head and a sore throat.
This weekend a weird eye thing.
My sister said:
“What are you not looking at/seeing clearly?”
“No, it is about turning and looking inwards”
What if it is about both of these things?
I was not looking at the fact that I had started diffusing orange essential oil for the first time.
I now think this had a hand in irritating my eye – I noticed an increase in symptons when the oil was burning.
There are many more subtle things that I am refusing to look at in my life.
These are also the things that I need to turn inwards and focus on.
So my eye problems alerted me to this.
I have been increasingly in Yin energy for a really long time now.
Probably since the pandemic began and we all moved into a kind of enforced pause.
As September looms and more outward energy beckons. I find myself in resistance.
Surely I should be out there right now doing more?
Surely I should start to make things happen again?
But really all I want to do is go inwards, go within.
I have been sleeping better than I have in a long time.
As soon as the sun goes down, I want my head to lay down with it.
This is also speaking to Autumn, when life becomes so much about surrender and darkness.
So what am I trying to say in this post?
I’m in such a state of receptivity that writing/talking almost feels futile.
I am just being and it feels uncomfortable and good.
Much love Txx