yin/jɪn/noun

(in Chinese philosophy) the passive female principle of the universe, characterized as female and sustaining and associated with earth, dark, and cold.

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My sister called me yesterday, just after I’d baked bread for the week. I was climbing back into bed with Netflix and a vitamin drink.

Sometimes I find it very hard to stop and rest.

Even when at home, I find chores to do.

Usually when I am in resistance to resting, I experience illness that forces me to.

Last weekend it was a fuzzy head and a sore throat.

This weekend a weird eye thing.

My sister said:

“What are you not looking at/seeing clearly?”

I said

“No, it is about turning and looking inwards”

What if it is about both of these things?

I was not looking at the fact that I had started diffusing orange essential oil for the first time.

I now think this had a hand in irritating my eye – I noticed an increase in symptons when the oil was burning.

There are many more subtle things that I am refusing to look at in my life.

These are also the things that I need to turn inwards and focus on.

So my eye problems alerted me to this.

I have been increasingly in Yin energy for a really long time now.

Probably since the pandemic began and we all moved into a kind of enforced pause.

As September looms and more outward energy beckons. I find myself in resistance.

Surely I should be out there right now doing more?

Surely I should start to make things happen again?

But really all I want to do is go inwards, go within.

I have been sleeping better than I have in a long time.

As soon as the sun goes down, I want my head to lay down with it.

This is also speaking to Autumn, when life becomes so much about surrender and darkness.

So what am I trying to say in this post?

Nothing much.

I’m in such a state of receptivity that writing/talking almost feels futile.

I am just being and it feels uncomfortable and good.

Much love Txx