Facing My Past

Photo by MESSALA CIULLA on Pexels.com

This weekend, I am due to go back to the flat I shared with a friend, and move out the rest of my stuff.

I had only been living in my current place for one month before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had not quite finished moving out of the old one.

Impending surgery, and then recovery, meant that I was not able to collect the few belongings I left behind or finish cleaning out my old room.

Also my mind was not at all in the right place for sorting out odd bits and pieces.

This weekend is it though.

Before my next treatment starts I want to move forward with a clean slate.

Surgery felt like an excavation of sorts.

The radiotherapy and the hormone therapy that I will be going through next, are literally to mop up any remaining cells, and lower the risk of future recurrence.

In the same way, I am going back to my past to clean up anything remaining so it does not hang over me in the future.

Closure in it’s truest sense is occurring for me right now, and I wonder – am I ready to face my past?

The me that lived in that room was not that dissimilar to the me that moved to this city over two years ago.

The me that met the friend I lived with on a Creative Writing MA.

The me that started this blog and experienced a spiritual awakening.

The me that now identifies as a psychic and a medium.

The me that has gone through three major relationship break-ups.

The me that lost my Dad at age 25

The me that has let go of friends that meant a lot at one time – and had friends let go of me.

Now I am a completely different me, with a life ahead that will hold many more and better things, and this cancer marked a definitive line.

So going back to my old flat feels major.

It is a chance to close out a hard few chapters.

Only through drawing a line under the old, can we truly embrace the new.

Much love Txx

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