*Disclaimer: This is a trip down a memory lane of pain. If you are squeamish or just don’t fancy going there – stop reading now!

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So here it is. The post you may have been waiting for…the one where I talk about the less glamourous side of going through Breast Cancer.

It is not all about spiritual growth and shifting of perspective.

On a more everyday level there is a lot of uncertainty, worry, waiting and anxiety-producing appointments.

For me, there has also been a lot of decision making and research.

One of the most surprising parts of this journey is how little physical pain I have experienced.

However when the pain appeared, it has been brutal.

So I have decided to write it all down. It will help me process, I’m sure 🙂

The Lump, The Biopsies and (No Wardrobe.)

When I first discovered the lump I assumed hoped it was benign.

I’ve had harmless lump encounters before and wished it the same.

Except this lump was mildly painful.

Not more than I could bear, but once the lump was removed I fully understood just how painful it had been.

The way in which the cancer was officially diagnosed was through a core needle biopsy of this lump.

My breast was held down by a lovely nurse who did the best she could, as a needle, more like a stapler, plunged into me numerous times to get samples.

Needless to say I left the hospital that day, bruised and battered.

When I returned, the next week. After receiving my diagnosis, and with the tears still streaming down my face – I had to have a mammogram on both breasts, AND a further biopsy from my underarm.

Cue painful bruising take two 😦

The mammogram literally squishes your boobs like a pancake by the way. Wow.

Radioactive Woman

Lets discuss the day of surgery.

I had to have radioactive dye injected into my breast.

Yes you read that right, but I will repeat for effect:

I had to have radioactive dye injected into my breast.

This was in order to help the surgeon identify the sentinel lymph nodes in my armpit for removal.

The injection was short but incredibly painful as you can imagine.

This pain was made worse by a massage afterwards to encourage dispersion. (Not the kind of massage one wants at this time.)

It stung fiercely for about five minutes as I sat with the other ladies in the waiting room, all who had the same injection and were waiting to be called down to surgery. Not many words were exchanged!

Tattoos Are So Not Cool

Surgery passed with only the promised ‘mild to moderate discomfort’ afterwards.

Then began a relatively pain free period of three months, whilst I recovered.

Until yesterday!

The next treatment I will be undertaking is radiotherapy, and on Monday morning off I went for a planning session.

All was painless enough until the time came to tattoo me with marks.

These pin-sized marks are to make it easier for me to be lined up in the correct position each day for treatment.

These pin-sized marks (three of them) hurt like hell. Especially when I had to have the third one gone over a little as it did not show up enough the first time!

Repeat after me:

I will never get a tattoo by choice.

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So there we have it! A thorough description of all the pain I have gone through in Breast Cancer so far. I am sure there will be more, but for now, I savour the couple of weeks before radiotherapy treatment actually begins.

Much love and thanks for reading Txx.