(Photo taken at Dark Sugars Brick Lane – a chocolate bar, surely all a girl needs?!)
I didn’t think I would ever be writing a post like this, and really be feeling this awesome energy.
I have had so many heart-breaking situations happen in my relationship life, that I honestly felt like I would never heal, and yet I can share with you now that it is possible to really heal and feel amazing as a single person.
I have never had a problem with being single, or so I thought. Yet I found myself in some form of romantic relationship, solidly for the last 11 years. Back to back, going from one unsuitable partner to another.
Yes I felt like I was in love, but what I was actually doing was showing no love for myself.
I still believed somewhere in my psyche that the route to fulfilment was with another, and so I put up with behaviour that was damaging and devastating.
Today, a year after my last ‘relationship’ failed, I feel the most single I have ever felt in my life, and simultaneously I feel the most alive I have ever felt.
Letting go of unsuitable relationships gave me the time and energy to focus on myself and sort my life out.
To work out what really makes me happy, who I am and where I am going.
To the point where I was able to say to friends a few weeks ago, how much I am truly enjoying being on my own.
I don’t mean this flippantly, I mean I am having the time of my life on my own.
I am grateful not to have to take another person’s needs into account.
I am grateful to be able to uproot myself and go where my heart tells me to without worrying about leaving someone behind.
Perhaps most importantly, I am grateful to be able to look myself in the mirror, and not feel ashamed for what I am tolerating from another.
I also believe that this period of relishing singledom will ultimately lead to making much better decisions about who I choose to be with in the future.
Notice how I said ‘relishing’ singledom.
I am not talking about the kind of single, where you are yearning for another.
Or the kind of single where you distract yourself with empty flirting.
No, I am talking about the kind of single I truly have not felt before.
The single of endless possibilities.
The single of abundant energy to create an abundant life.
I am talking about being consciously single.
Wow, this feels so good to say!
Being single in our society is often looked down upon, we all feel the pressure to be coupled up, as it still feels like it is expected of us.
Yet there is so much beauty to be found in ourselves and this world, no requirement to be coupled with another to experience it.
So today I wanted to raise the flag for all us happy, and fulfilled singles out there.
I also want to reassure all those struggling singles that life is meant for us to enjoy to, especially on our own.
Yeah of course, it is nice to share our lives with others, but relationships come and go.
Make sure the one you have with yourself is solid and loving.
Let that be the base from which all others can grow.
Much love Txx